The lights are low, the music sensual, bodies swaying in close embrace. Partner after partner, song after song. Social dancing scenes like those found in Bachata, Kizomba, Salsa, and Zouk involve constant interaction with new people in an atmosphere rife with sexual tension. While exciting, it can also test even the strongest romantic bonds. In the next video you can find one of the most mesmerizing Bachata dance couples – Ataca and La Alemana – that still have that spark when they look at each other while dancing:

YouTube video

As a veteran of the social dance world, I’ve watched countless relationships strained by accusations of impropriety on the dance floor. A stray touch here, a gaze held too long there. Most dancers maintain appropriate boundaries, but it only takes one ambiguous interaction for seeds of doubt to be planted. Reassurance between primary partners can go a long way, but that communication must be grounded in trust.

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I’ll never forget the time I asked a Bachata instructor how she and her husband dealt with the constant parade of attractive partners. She replied simply, “We don’t own each other. We’re just here to enjoy the music and movement.” Her words epitomize the outlook required to withstand the temptations of the social dance scene. Possessiveness and jealousy serve no one on the dance floor. Confidence and transparency between partners are essential.

As an inveterate flirt, I’ll admit the dance floor presents no shortage of temptation. That cute lady with the soulful eyes, the sensual follow whose movements connect with mine just so. And yes, lines sometimes blur in those breathless moments between songs. And yet, I’ve never crossed the line with a dance partner, even when presenting with ripe opportunity. Why? Because the fleeting excitement of a new connection can never compare to the enduring fulfillment of my marriage.

My wife understands this. She applauds my flirtatiousness on the dance floor, knowing quite well the buck stops there. As she puts it, she’d rather I get my flirt on under her watchful eye than behind her back. Do we still experience occasional twinges of jealousy? Of course! But we talk through them, keeping communication open and honest.

Not everyone takes such a libertarian approach to social dancing. Some couples institute rules against close embraces or sensual moves, establishing firm boundaries for interaction with new partners. Others attend dance functions only together, avoiding outside temptation altogether. While restrictive, these agreements constitute acceptable relationship conduct codes. The key is mutual consent through transparent communication between partners.

Individual mindsets and relationship dynamics differ, so universal prescriptions don’t apply. Yet several best practices bear mentioning. First, check in often with your significant other about their comfort level. Second, shut down overtly sexual overtures from new partners quickly and firmly. Third, stay sober and in control on the dance floor. Finally, keep your perspective. As hot as that rando may be in the moment, they can’t replace the profound intimacy you share with your partner. Keep your priorities straight and your feet will follow.

The social dance floor certainly presents challenges for committed couples. But approached with openness, confidence and frequent reality checks, both partners can enjoy all the sexy fun these scenes offer while maintaining enduring attraction at home. The music plays on, bodies intertwine fleetingly, only to part ways once again. While new connections excite, old bonds provide the anchor. Keep communication lines open and your home fires burning, and no dance floor temptation can jeopardize your relationship.

If you enjoyed this article, feel free to share it with your friends. Also, as online education getting more and more common these days, we’ve decided to launch a new online schools section. Consider checking it out if you’d like to learn to dance from the comfort of your home. Such online classes offer a convenient way to learn from world class teachers at an affordable price.